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You get to be IT – will you dare to?

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Oh the joys of JOYS I’m feeling today!!!

I never knew how TRULY I was born to do what I do until I started to work with my dream clients.

I never grasped the size of my IMPACT on people, until I started to magnetise those amazing beings who are bold and true and daring enough to defy their own BS, fears and all the rubbish we got told was ours, until my own clients dropped it all and started to rise out of the ashes.

I never understood the ways I could PROPEL real transformation until those same women and men I am head over heels for would say they feel like they are a different person altogether, sometimes only after 1 single session.

I never even experienced the SWELLING of my heart and the joy that thrilled my whole body until the victory of a client rings through the call with a roar, or a message or an email and we both get to celebrate her so much I would shed a tear or two.

Wow, if there is a way to name the PLEASURE we feel when another takes pleasure… I have harnessed that ability today especially!

Today I created so much magic with two amazing women.
Today I shifted so much in my being around success.
Today I received and received and received.
Today and everyday, this is a new reality of mine.

I am a powerful being
I attract powerful beings in my life, ALL THE TIME!!!!
I am a creator, I am a magic weaver, I am a healer, I am a catalyst.
I am a magnet for success and love.
I am beautiful and radiant.

I am elated.
I am soooo on purpose!

I WAS BORN TO DO THIS WORK!
I looked back today:

A year ago I started to own up to a new possibility.
9 months ago I decided it was time to change.
6 months ago I left my dance teaching career in London and launched my new business adventure.
5 months ago I was about to step onto the plane to my first world trip destination.
3 months ago I made my first considerable sale.
2 months ago I had my first 1K day.
1 month ago I launched my first ever live webinar on Sex Magic.

AND THEN:
2 weeks ago I felt like I died energetically
My bank account completely drained,
I cried live on a video about my shame and my embarrassment, I thought everything was going to end here & would need to go back home and give up my dream.
I was lost.
I hated my marketing.
I hated my business.
I just didn’t FEEL IT.
I had started to hate myself again, fall back into my old ways.

AND THEN!
It all revealed itself:

I just had fallen out of love’s embrace.
I stopped trusting.
I started to make things about me, rather than see them for what they were:

Signs of being catapulted onto a new level.
My old self had to die.
She had to expose herself.
She had to see that she was outdated and no longer fitted the purpose!
I felt the pain, I birthed the death self out, and gone she was!

And within 48hrs:

A friend deposited a gift of $500.
40 new friend requests.
Friends as well as strangers from all over the world reached out and opened my eyes anew:
they’ve been watching me, they’ve been noticing me.
They’ve been connected to me. Sometimes silently, until THIS VERY DAY!
And then, I found my dream coach who I will be up-levelling more with. A woman with a deep soul who KNOWS!
I connected to my heart mission again.
I decided I would make it all about love again.
I fell in love with making it about love first and foremost.

Last week I taught another sex magic class.
70 women connected with me in person.
25 jumped on the live call.
Over 30 women watched the replay.
It hit a huge success! Women were inquiring, asking, sharing, expressing, crying, joyfully celebrating this beautiful connection to loving their body, their being, their LIFE!

I started to host my coaching calls again.
This time around with a whole new set of women and men.
Phenomenal transformations like never before!

I’m up-levelling more and more.
Bali on Sunday will be bringing new elevations, I can sense it in every BONE of mine, every single CELL!

I know this is the REAL DEAL!
I know I’m on the right path!
I just KNOW, and I HAD to commit.
Go ALL IN!
Leave the past.
Burn the bridges.
GO ALL IN and TRUST!

I learnt that I AM the safety net.
I AM the goddess.
I AM the catalyst.
I AM the one propelling people into levels of LOVE they never knew existed.
I AM the one who will be revolutionising the marketing plane with a whole new set of gears!

And it’s all about LOVE!

When you fall so fiercely and madly in love with your life, with yourself, with everything you create from the roots up, there just is NO other thing you’ll ever need.

YOU get to be IT!
You already are!

Hold your heart.
Hold your yoni.
Breathe in, contract & hold.
FEEL!
BE!
Now exhale slowly and fully, relaaaaaaaaax!

Your heart’s been waiting for you.
All this time, you’ve been looking out… for YOU!

Welcome home.

The RAW truth – behind the scenes of an uprising female entrepreneur

(What no entrepreneur owns up to, unless they’ve made the gold
& How and why I’ve been chickening out of my real size too…)

 

So this morning I had a beautiful share with a beloved being about all kinds of things and the conversation propelled a huge realisation in my mind.

 

All this time, in the past few weeks I had been playing damn small.
So small, that I stopped creating regular content.
I had stopped to do videos on my social media.
I had gotten myself into this safe space, but it was so small and contained that I had not even noticed it.

 

And so, I’m writing this blog as a massive apology to you, who have been following me as a leader and visionary, who I feel I betrayed.
But especially to my soul, because I had actually started to move away from my committed path:
showing and speaking the truth, yes!
the REAL truth…. not just the one that is in consumable bite sizes!

 

And I had to call myself out on my own BS.

Yup.

 

My beloved said, well do what feels right.
But I could tell, that “doing what feels right!” was actually leading me astray!

It was leading me down the road of waiting “for the right moment2, you know, the one where you “have it all figured out and digested”.

 

And here’s what happens when you believe that thought.
It’s so tiny and almost imperceptible (especially because it actually serves the lower mind to be in power of winning).
Wow… and it had passed me by ALL THIS FUCKING TIME!!!
I was about to go down the “safe path!” again and CHICKEN THE FUCK OUT of showing who I really am!!!
Yup.

 

So I said, fuck that!

I AM NOT CHICKENING OUT!!

 

chicken
I am going to stand rooted in my grounds and display who I am,
especially the ugly stuff that’s been going on my mind lately.

 

So here are the things that I thought were going to destroy me, my reputation, my integrity, my face, my everything!
And deep down, I knew I had to step up to the game.
Yes Yes Yes!

 

And I feel sick to the core to admit this, but I will regardless, because I really believe that we need to be able to break sometimes to break open wider!
To get to the mud, into the ruts of it and display our struggle as much as our gold!

 

Here are the chicken-stories:

 

– admitting that I’m not making 10K+ a month will lower my credibility and reputation as a coach
– I keep running out of cash and I have to hide it, because it makes me look like a victim
– I’ve been couchsurfing, sharing people’s homes, wandering from place to place and it’s “not right” to do it this way
– I am highly sensitive to people’s energies and it makes me “anti-social” or “incapacitated” as a human being
– I should keep my sexual adventures and experiences to myself, because it’s nobody’s business
– my marketing is outwardly “bold AF” and “in your face” because nobody fucking listens otherwise, even though it doesn’t feel like it’s the true “Lisy”
– I’m not excited about taking selfies in front of big monuments and do a sight-seeing sprint: it disgusts me, in fact! but OMG I can’t say that, because people think that what I should be doing: take advantage of being in “amazing places” to do “amazing things”: in truth I’ve been indoors a lot working through my next launches and clearing/tuning into myself, because the city lifestyle plays massive havoc on my system
– If people don’t pay me, they’re not real clients and so I shouldn’t claim their success rates with the public
– going public with manifested gifts and value is “nothing” because “nobody gives a shit, if it’s not real cash”

 

sink overflow
So basically…. all these stories created a massive plug in my energy field and I just needed to pull the plug and remind myself to go TO TOWN in terms of owning my own teachings: show the raw truth!
And thereafter to realise how fake these stories were in comparison to the REAL SIZE I can take in the world!

so, the reality-check 1on1:

 

+ what about OWNING IT ALL?! (yes both light AND dark!)
+what about the BIG ASS WHY behind creating a platform that transforms & transcends empowerment for every being on the planet (see the FGM section below)
+what about my INTUITION SUPERPOWERS that have led me to the most soul-fueled experiences and knowings, synchronicity and everything magic so far?
+ what about all the connections, friendships and partnerships I created along this 4 month trip so far?
+ what about the 13K’s worth of value I manifested in accomodation, food and countless gifts I never needed to pay for?
+ what about the ripples of change I propelled in the 40 people I coached and supported in the past 6 months? messaging me weekly and daily about their small victories and success stories?
+ what about all the ways I kept in-check with my boundaries, owning my body and my sovereignty to ONLY make love to lovers and spending time with people I felt the FULLBODY FUCK YES for. All the times I removed myself from or dismantled situations that felt out of integrity for me, without blinking ONCE! (yes even if it came to the situation of lying completely naked in bed and speak up that I don’t desire to make love and to have it respected!)
+ what about the courage I’ve propelled in myself by just jumping into the unknown of the world with 500£ in my account? doing things I never thought I would do (such as climb down a 30m waterfall in the Blue Mountains!)
+ what about  the lessons and tales I’ve picked up on my journey to learn about who I am in the world: discovering that I am a leader from the heart, with power, sovereignty and integrity with my values
+ what about the truths that I’ve spoken about so far, despite the risk of being judged, scrutinised, criticised or shamed for (abortion, rape, sexual liberation, sex magic, orgasms, and all things taboo that holds human beings down and disempowered!)
+ what about ALL the leaps of success I do every single day that nobody sees? no will ever see?

 

perspective kauai
I dare you to dare!!!

Dare the haters to come up to you and throw you down!

Dare the fears to come and haunt you back into your little place to hide!

Dare the ones who say they have big dreams but never do shit to get dirty &
grind up the muddy hills!

Dare the ones who create and hide their raw art in the bottom drawer to bring it out &
show it to the world!

Dare the silent ones to step bigger than ever, speak louder than ever!

Dare to challenge yourself to do what scares TF out of you &
do it first thing in the day!

Yes, dare to be on the other side of fear saying:
thank you, but I’m going this way now!

Dare to reveal your long-held secrets,
step up to the platform with a fierce & bold heart!

 

Remember why you are here!
Remember there’s somebody out there who needs you to speak up!
Remember why you need to make those millions!

 

This world runs on money & money is a fucking divine joker if you know HOW to put it into action!
It may not buy your health back when it’s gone, but it sure can save people’s lives, offer shelter, support, resources and all other extensions of love for those who need it.

 

I needed to remember WHY I NEED TO STOP HIDING!

 

My desire is for every single woman and man on the planet to be the sovereign owner of of their own body, their voice, their dreams, their sexuality and pleasure: to live a life they really desire and that fulfils them and their loved ones to the brim!

 

I remembered the documentary on FGM (female sexual mutilation) I saw years ago and how it shook me to the core:
this atrocity is a reality; such as many other heart-breaking things are in the world.
It’s so fucking messed up: women have their beautiful parts stripped off them because SOMEBODY decides their body is shameful!
That it’s dirty!
And more, that feeling pleasure is a sin and that they therefore need to suffer for the rest of their lives giving painful births and excruciatingly agonising lives with shitty or non-existent sexuality (the space that allows for so much healing in the first place, right!?)

 

WHO DECIDES?! God damn!

Black_Panther_90

 

This shook me so much, because not only did I understand the depth of this injustice.
It revealed my own power to me!

 

I just couldn’t go grinding the dance teacher job anymore, barely getting by and not being able to put savings on the side!
Deep down there are people who are being crushed by the system who need someone from the western world to reach their hand!

 

WE HAVE NO IDEA about the power we truly own in the West!
NO FUCKING CLUE!

 

You see the system is so smart, it makes you forget about what’s going on the world.
It’s so easy to get entangled into your own little life, trying to get from month to month, falling into the slumber of the western grind. It’s like a slavery system that makes people run like mad hamsters who never get off the wheel.

 

So I had to come to the other side, living on the edge to realise the self-fulfilling madness prophecy I almost ran into too.
Believing that there’s nothing I could truly change.

 

Because that’s what it gets down to: we believe there is “nothing” we can do; because there’s hardly anything we can do to take ownership of our own time, money, energy and family-connections.
The western grind makes you fall asleep to your own power.

 

And so I faced this situation these past few weeks, where I thought I was going mad:
one of my close friends called me out, some family members called me out from their side:
what the heck was I doing? living off the system? talking about making millions? and orgasms? and running out of cash?!

 

OMG!
come back into the safe cage!!!
it’s golden!
it’s pretty!

 

YESS!!! AND IT’S FUCKING OPEN!!

cage child

So as a free bird flying wild in paradise, here I am taking the leaps of faith I never thought I would!
I’m doing it for a cause!
And it’s much bigger than me!

 

I’m having to shed my beliefs around EVERY thing: money, relationships, wealth, success, human connection, emotional drama, all kinds of drama.
I’m having to stand fierce as a true Panther hissing and knarling at those who enter my field to place bombs: it’s flipping sacred lands down here!
And nobody gets to enter and throw my trees down!

 

As much as I had to birth the courage to say NO on that day I took the abortion: it was coming from a place of protection for my future child: I’m NOT allowing for us to go down the grind, to be abandoned, to feel like a burden, I am NOT going through pregnancy (the most beautiful and stunning space a woman can find herself) emitting emotional despair vibrations into my baby. I am NOT allowing anybody to decide how messed up my life will be or won’t be. I will NOT give in to the temporary validation over the long-term repercussion. Especially, if I have the choice as a Western woman.

 

And what happened:
I got to say HEAVEN YES to all the things that mean the real deal to me, and I get to say YES to impacting women on a large scale!
I get to live my life in harmony with myself, taking care of myself (my time, my energy, my money, my dreams) and I will sure the heck teach other women how to do the same!

 

I believe in the freedom and the power of love we can propel in the world.
We are such amazing beings!

 

I can see the power of owning up to my shit, ALL OF IT, now!
When there is a greater cause at action, the universe moves mountains for you.
I know I will succeed.
Alone by writing this blog post and sharing my video on facebook, I am already miles ahead of the sayers who don’t slay.

 

We can take the leap.
We can decide!

I am nobody to decide.
But YOU are!

flowers

When I saw other sisters around me succeed.
Make money.
Make tons of it!
And do it by propelling and supporting other women who in their turn were doing the same for EVERY person they touch!
I KNEW that I was onto something.

 

I just COULDN’T go back to my mediocre life anymore!
Spirit lifted me off the grounds of the “moist selfish needs” to never return back there.
I vowed I would never return there and I would help everyone who wants to reach for the heights of colours.

 

And so the Soul-Drone took me on a butterfly flight:
where flowers blossom at their own pace, in divine time, beneath the sunny warm skies.
A full field of spring flowers, colourful, radiant, dancing in the wind.
Luscious abundance I could barely see from below now made complete sense.

 

This is what we came her for.
All the birds are whispering.
The web of information is buzzing.
All the bees are humming.

 

It’s time to shed the fears.
It’s time to claim our fierce nature within.
It’s time.
It’s just time.

 

I am nobody to decide.
But you ARE!
And when you do, come say hi!

 

Lisy Panther

 

field-flowers

Narcissistic Dismantling

empaths won’t like this but should read it anyway – stop calling narcissists out

I recently had a chat with a dear one about narcissism and the pain he was going through with the realisation that he may be a narcissist. Someone must have pointed it out to him, possibly with a hostile demeanor. So now he’s fighting this inner demon that was laying dormant for all his life, and is starting to understand the impact it had on his life all this time, especially in relationships.

And right there it doomed to me that I had never witnessed this perspective from that up close.

Have you ever wondered about how a narcissist may perceive being pointed fingers at?

Well, never had I!

And I started to understand how incredibly unfair and downgrading this would be for anyone to have to carry.

When you google narcissistic behaviour most of the copy that shows up clearly puts narcissists in the enemy field and the empaths are on the good side.

Never did it occur to me this could be viewed differently:

me too, I had been convinced by the crowd for most of my aware time.

I had shamed and blamed my ex for years on end, with ruthlessness: he’s selfish, he doesn’t really care, understand, he’s emotionally unavailable, distant, disconnected, a bully, a tyran…

That’s the beast that lies dormant in an empath: when we don’t get our love the way we want it, we turn into very smart distortors of reality: we go deep AF into the manipulation game, most of the time we play this game to convince ourselves of being the good person after all, we have been victimised and it gives us some kind of power to abuse the perpetrator in return.

Holy Guacamole…. I can’t believe I just wrote this!

At the expense of being bashed by all the empaths in the world: I actually don’t care, you see.

It doesn’t make any abusive behaviour you experienced by narcissists right.

I’m not taking sides!

What I’m exposing here is a bit of the terrible truth most of us deny ourselves from (including me for a very long time).

Also, I’m not going into the physically abusive patterns, because that’s a whole other ball game (even if I believe that what I’m about to share could be the bottom line to that extreme outcome)

WHAT IF?

What if Ns were here to help you create stronger boundaries, that you never knew about until they stepped over them?

What if Ns are to fuel the greater power in you, by inviting you to speak your truth, no matter what! To showcase your true needs and intentions, even if you feel deep down you don’t deserve them?

What if Ns are serving you tough love by displaying all the ways you are forfeiting your own capacity, potential and ability (especially the one to walk away or remove yourself from destructive situations)?

What if Ns are themselves desperately seeking love and approval, but got lost looking in the empty corners?

What if Ns were once victims before, perpetrated, abused, disappointed, abandoned, neglected over and over again;

so much so, that the only option out of this excruciating pain was to develop a very intelligent defense system that is uncrackable for any emotion to sicker through?

You see, from my experience Ns lived in highly triggering environments: it’s something they had to cope with so often, that it became a norm to manipulate and go over all the red flags to receive some form of love. Now, even if they numbed out emotion altogether, it actually catches back up with them, because no human being can live without love.

Did we all just get lost in the blame jungle?

It’s so easy to blame

So easy to judge

So easy to find the culprit who can take up for all our shit we never wanted to see, because deep down, us empaths are desperately seeking to be saved, rescued and hidden away from the awful reality:

we are just as messed up as the narcissists when it comes to fighting for the golden grahl of love!

Yes we are.

We allow ourselves to be flakey and wishiwashey so we don’t have to take responsibility and action for our dreams.

We waver with our opinion everytime we feel a slight hinge of disapproval (even if it isn’t real, but the reality of our mind takes over).

We have desires but are to clenched up to ask for what we really want (maybe we’re afraid to be called out? Most of the time though, I feel we just believe that we don’t really deserve to receive all the way, especially not on a big scale)

We secretly hope that someone else will come, read our minds and save our world, because we feel so powerless at the big wide & cruel land out there! Rescue me, I’m a Princess syndrome…

We tie the narcissists down by pleasing and smothering them with love and lushness, we trick them into our mummy laps, to make sure they will never leave us.

We take care of them and give them all we can (and CAN‘T give) and then… when we don’t get the attention and love we so desperately need (because we poured it all away to everything and everyone) we smack them back with blame and shame and emotional withdrawal.

Often we just didn’t read the signs properly: they never promised us flowers in the first place, but we expected diamonds!

We do everything to mask our true feelings, our pain and sorrow. We much prefer to get busy healing and fixing others. And we spend so much time and money on quick fixes that entertain us rather than solve the problems at the root (psychics, watching youtube self help videos that comfort our empathic views, restaurant dinners with friends to „feed away“ our drama, courses and workshops for successful relationships, chocolate and wine – tons of it)

Only, speaking for myself, I don’t think I really „loved“ the guy I was with (I had experienced what devoted love was, because I had been in an amazing relationship before him, so I knew the blue print of balance in giving and receiving). Yet, I was to cowardice to admit it: I rather held on than to be a „bad person leaving him“, rather gripped every inch of him than to admit I was unhappy and that we may not be a healthy match, much rather hijacked all his attention away from his dreams and desires of success, than take empowered action to fuel my own dreams (that actually scared TF out of me).

The list goes on.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Welcome to the ring of codependency!

Here are the rules:

let’s tie each other over and over in the name of love, and as soon as we don’t receive what we want, we pull the ropes tighter and tighter until we bleed our inner children’s hearts out.

And if we ever decide to finally remove ourselves of this toxic circle, half of us hit the elastic of the ring and go boxing for another thousand of rounds, because the fear of being out there, off the limelights that numb the pain with righteousness, could be too uncontrollable.

So let’s keep fighting and bleeding each other out.

(please take my sarcasm lightly)

Now, isn’t it wild that we both were seeking love and acceptance in the first place?

And we both actually need help doing so.

There are no victims.

There are no perpetrators.

There’s no rescuer even.

We just learned how to ask for love in all the dishonest ways: from our parents, our friends, our surroundings, even from movies!

I wrote this to light up the pathway out of this crazy vicious labyrinth:

We all deserve love.

Especially if we need to lick our wounds from our past that keeps putting our own hands into this wild wrestling.

Slow down.

Remove the hands.

Breathe and feel:

your pain can be your catharsis.

Get help if you need, allow yourself to be humbled by the love that has been coated under all your shields of defence metal.

It is not your role to take anybody’s pain!

We are all beings with a choice at the end of the day, we decide on our own growth and expansion in our own time.

Be gentle with yourself.

Be much more gentle with those who hurt you.

Be so gentle to walk away from what is causing you harm.

You may return later, but take time out now.

Go integrate your pain all the way first!

We’re divine beings, full of sovereignty!

Beneath the veils of these patterns there are human beings aching for connection and for acceptance.

And we’re so incredibly deserving of it all!

LisyButterfly

The night I entered a strip club

and what came to reveal itself is far beyond my imagination

So last night I found myself in a striptease club for the first time in my life.

I had received opportunities before to check it out, but never felt right about it.

Yesterday, it all fit in the flow of the events and to be honest, I told myself: if I am to powerfully communicate about sexuality and sensuality, I should know what the darkness feels like, too.

So there I was in this old savvy place, with nude young all dolled up girls walking around me and a handful of men.

I noticed there was an asian lady, too, from possibly hindu backgrounds, sitting next to a man whom, I purely assume, was her husband.

Her look was not truly delighted.

And I quickly realised, why it couldn’t be.

If she was at least as tuned into her heart as I was, it was rather obvious.

The first girl dancing on the pole had a very disconnected demeanor.

I could sense she was just totally checking out of her body, maybe she had been doing this for a long time.

From a conversation later I take that this was “just another night on the grind”.

One of the men in my group, started to become a little touchy feely with me, and I kindly pushed him off.

Some allure must have taken him, that if I had walked all the way here with them, there was some kind of “ok-ness” about being touched or desired.

It also somewhat placed me in a position of more vulnerability, truly, because overtly he didn’t feel he’d have to “pay me”, right.

Oh well. Wrong.

I have my boundaries on check point most of the time now, thankfully.

This being said, something interesting happened.

As much as I entered to be just a witness from afar, it looks like the universe had a different experience in store for me.

About a moment into the watching and noticing, I asked one of the other guys if he was feeling turned on by this.

No, not really he said.

So why do guys go hang out in there?

Married, frustrated, low vibes he said.

All the while observing carefully how the women were interacting with the men, both in my direct presence and further away.

Body language is a beautiful thing, it speaks without words.

We kept moving closer, and before I knew it, I was right upfront on the VIP seats near the stage area.

And then that the touchy-feely dude placed a couple of notes into my hands.

Shit!

I didn’t ask for this!

Very uneasy at first, feeling like a perpetrator.

I eventually relaxed and became curious about this position, watching the men lavishly scanning the girls’ beautiful graceful erotic moves.

It was so weird: I had entered the club with the intention to be a witness and here was having the full-on experience in the seat of the usual customers.

One of the girls kept playing with me, and I sensed a lot of discomfort in my body receiving her attention.

I briefly clipped a note it onto their body wear.

Oops, this actually meant she was to give me more attention and there I sat being danced for.

Wow… I felt like I was raping the girl’s sovereignty by offering her money for this volatile visual exchange.

And this moved me to the core, truly.

A few moments down the line I saw in her eyes, that the discomfort I felt, must have been three times worse when she needed to offer her body up to the men’s objectifying attention.

I sensed that having me there, instead of a grimy dude could also be a comfort for her: so I blasted my sisterhood love on her intuitively. I let her play, knowing that I wasn’t perpertrating her no more, I was simply holding space in a very strange way.

And then, everything hit home:

Everything lit up a fucking fakery show to me.

I felt like I was in the middle of a movie, and a part in me wanted to just become invisible so as not to touch any of the cards in the pile, just so I could see the truth behind the veils of the role plays in action.

Right in the middle of a shower: mixed emotions, mine and others’ started to rush right over me.

All revealed and bare suddenly:

Numbness.

Despair.

Loss.

Desperation.

Frustration.

Competition.

Insecurity.

Limpness.

Eyes.

Bodies.

Disorientation.

Arousal.

Shame.

Guilt.

Disconnection.

Repression.

Denial.

Pretentiousness.

Honesty.

Reality.

I suddenly saw both of the parties being caged up.

Held hostage by their own beliefs and self-fulfilling prophecies and experiences.

All the stories, all the thoughts, all the emotions.

Both the men and the strippers were going through the SAME stuff, even if on various levels of the game.

Some emotions were there, expressed in the non-said and some were well hidden below layers of righteousness and alluring power.

The strippers believing that the money they will earn will save them, that displaying and disconnecting from their bodies may be the only option they have to create abundance in their life.

Maybe also, the submissive attitude being the only way they can survive in this world, the only thing they can adopt in order to receive what they so wish for.

So much grace flowing in as well, surrendering to the ability their bodies have to move in a sensual and sexual way, having developed this incredible skill to flow with visual beauty and eroticness.

I truly honour their space, yet I can also feel the amount of disconnection that needs to happen in oder to let go of their body being their temple.

The amount of desperation in their eyes could not be hidden: to me, feeling the woman in them, I knew that something else was at action, a somewhat distorted inner force to “cope” and “get shit done” in a harsh and self-depleting way. Not to say that every stripper experienced this, but just tapping into the question that if they could do something else to earn the same amount of cash, they most likely would not be sacrificing themselves in this manner.

And I feel, that THAT truly is where the pain body arises and became so vivid to me when I was watching them: they don’t want to do this, yet they are locked down by their primal need for survival and the stories connected to this. There is a desperate scream for help in their whole beings: they want to be saved from these grabby glimpses, deteriorating their self-worth night by night. The shame and guilt they experience is also very obvious, especially when they press themselves hastily back into their tiny lingerie pieces after their performance. Quickly, when the job is done, they sweep their earned notes together, most of them found it hard to move around in heels that are way too high.

Then, briefly moving on to the next client to entertain: in eager hopes they can get that extra dough in a private room.

And for the men in there, those souls desperate to be seen and validated. Seeking love and connection, even if how they are seeking this, is rather far from reaching any of it.

Totally wasted, throwing the cash on the stage and into the girls’ panties. Supposedly they should feel powerful right?

So much uncertainty in their masculine: being visited by the girls and receiving interactions and glimpses from them, yet not knowing how to handle themselves.

Some completely infringing boundaries and smacking them on their bums with the notes: extrapolation of repressed aggression.

I believe that the men in that space yesterday were far more in pain than the girls, even if it isn’t as obvious, because their “power position” masks it away so smoothly.

Below the surface of fake power and dollar bills lies the unexpressed burn: they’re misunderstood, scalded, scorned, blamed and shamed males.

Let’s be clear: no man can feel truly wonderful and self-accepting about himself when in this space.

Having spent much time with empowered and dis-empowered men alike: they all agreed that watching porn, seeing prostitutes or visiting strip locations has dirty or guilt-tripping side notes.

A sensation of doing something “wrong” but incapacitated to refrain from it for the temporary validation of power highs to kick in, ridding themselves of excess sexual energy (as if it was something they need to offload).

And it’s so understanding when they have been so incredibly dis-empowered by what society and traditions expect from them: to be super heroes, to be wealthy, to take responsibility for other people’s shit and then please please please numb yourself, ok, get it on! Man up! Deal with it!

How could they ever feel loved or seen or supported this way, right?

They HAVE to disengage, they HAVE to become the perpetrators, they HAVE to abuse and rape in return because they haven’t been shown the way of the powerful man.

I don’t mean to go into the depths of the psychology here, because I don’t feel I have the right skills for it.

I’m simply sharing what I see.

A very intricate and perfectly woven tapestry of energy exchange:

money for survival – money for love.

The joker here is paying love for survival.

I woke up shaken to the truth that this calvary of souls truly exists.

No disrespect, but what the fuck is on with the world?

I had to yoga box my emotions out, so much sadness and anger at this reality.

And then, a conclusion lit up:

We are so much more than this!

And what I see is a MASSIVE invitation for men and women and human beings per say to take their power back.

I see a huge possibility for men to own their sexuality and request what they need, rather than going through the back doors.

Boldness and truth to get the types of love they truly desire and deserve.

I see a wave flooding over that we are so able to express ourselves sensually and sexually without the ridding of guilt and shame.

I see a beautiful expression of play and powerful interactions between men and women and human beings: to speak our minds, to ask for what we want, to make requests, to be specific.

And also: to speak out our pain in sacred spaces, to name how we have been hurt and dis-empowered, transcend and transform if from the core up.

I see women holding space for men, and men holding space for women, and men for men as well as women for women:

what if we could just dance beyond this gender stigma altogether and simply see through the veils of distorted actions being silent screams for support and love.

I can feel my whole being stretching in this truth.

I can see goddesses rising alongside warriors.

I can see divine spirits merging to co-create real intimacy and love, the ones that aren’t scared of the shadows and darkness.

I can feel children stepping forth to be birthed into a space where communication flows effortlessly, powerfully and collides into real empowered action.

Maybe it’s because I can see and feel all of this, too, that I am no longer ok to accept being treated in disrespectful ways, or to witness other human beings being dis-owned of their truth, sovereignty and power.

I believe we have the capacity to overcome many things, especially together!

Once we awakend to the things we truly desire we have the choice to move closer to them.

So often people and clients ask me when we will be done with “working on ourselves”.

This is like saying to a child: when are you going to be done with learning?

We will always remain children inside, seeking for more wilderness, play, love and joy.

It’s a natural state.

Let’s take pleasure and curiosity in learning about ourself, fall in love with ourselves over and over again.

Remain patient, remain connected, watch, witness and see the bigger picture.

This experience validated why I do what I do.

I want every single human being to feel so incredibly connected to love, so in their power and flow that these things will just flake away.

Our soul thrives in this space.

We can totally fly.

We already are.

Lisy Butterfly

How did I dare to update my profile?

(the real deal with imperfections and secret superpowers)

 

Only a few years ago I would have shuddered to post this on social media!!
If you’re a girl you probably noticed it.
Did you?

 

It’s such a subtle thought process, I almost missed it, too
The first thought on my mind when I saw the pic was: oh shit, you can see my cellulite!!
Argh 😤

 

Did you think this too? be honest!
If you didn’t, ok cool, maybe you’ve been through something similar before, condescending on your own body or sb else’s.
And if you did, lemme tell you this:
it’s flipping OK!
This is not a rant post about why or why not you thought what you thought.
You see, it’s not your fault.
It’s nobody’s fault really.
We’ve just adopted all these beliefs around our body, body image and all sorts of ideals and then… all the stuff that is anti-ideal.
And it triggers reactions.

 

To be very raw here, as I was flicking through the pictures to choose one, I was really looking for a pretty line of my legs and a smile! I wanted the picture to express the
playful energy I was in, during that moment.
My friend had proudly announced he took several of them so I could choose.
Now they all looked nice in terms of the 3 points I wanted to feature.
Except: they ALL had that ragged texture showing on my thighs.
I closed my phone and felt so many different things. It all passed in a wink of a moment, yet this is what your mind does: it takes over, and FAST!!
It was all so intricate and complex.
I will reveal ALL of it!
psychedelic-zig-zag-spider-web-fractal-107-rose-santuci-sofranko

 

Disappointment.

Why didn’t he change the angle? or notice it doesn’t look good that way?

 

Guilt.

Bummer, I’m fat.
I used to have muscly quads during my dancer years, and now it’s over.
My body lost the shape.

 

Frustration.

It will take me ages to recover!
I may never have a toned body again.

 

Sadness.

I won’t be loved as much.
I lost the love for myself and my body.

 

Denial

Could I edit it somehow?
Maybe a filter would hide it?
Or I could just take another one.

 

Anger.

Why didn’t I work out more?
I hate myself.

 

Fear.

Other women have much nicer bodies than me.
All the yoga teachers and fit girls in my audience will judge me.
I won’t be taken seriously anymore.

 

Abandonment.

Then, I gave up on posting it completely.
I rejected my initial idea and left it.

 

It took me around 30mins to check in with myself and realise what just had happened.
Did I really just give up on this idea?
Just because of my cellulite bubbles??
F&£# yes, I did!
No f£&#ing way!!!!

 

So I went back into my phone and looked at my face:
I was radiant!
Undeniable truth, right there!

 

reality-check-for-big-pharma-and-medicare-part-d

 

Reality-Check.

I’m in Hawaii, having an unbelievable time!
I feel amazing like NEVER before!!
I get blessed with miracles ALL THE TIME!!!
My heart sings for joy every single flipping day I wake up here!
I have refuelled my dance mojo, made incredible friends in only 2 weeks!
I feel sexy, erotic and magnetic like a goddess all the time!
I’m in the Waimea Valley, one the most epic places in O‘ahu’s North Shore.
I just balanced on a flipping pole that’s less than a squarefoot wide to play with this beautiful dancer pose in the landscape and my only reason for not posting this REAL EXPRESSION OF MYSELF is the cellulite on my legs?!?!?

 

Can you feel the humour?
I mean, seriously!
No spiritual bypassing in this, I promise (I did the whole emotional clearing), but isn’t the mind just a funny bastard sometimes?
Lol.

 

hawaii map

 

The invitation.

I could have abandoned myself. Forsaken on the celebration of this moment.
Yet, there was something deeper for me to feel through!
There was that moment of self-love that I could propel myself into fuller “beingness”.Embodying the Mother aspect in myself, holding myself in that space of hurt, even if it was so incredibly painful.
Just allow the pain to be there.
And then re-connect deeper.

Taking space in the world, REGARDLESS of what the judgemental mind was saying.

Giving myself the full picture anew.
Realising that my body is a temple for my soul to express itself!

My beautiful body deserves so much love, so much nurturing and so much presence.
My body is a vessel for me to explore my life!

It’s not an object to be placed on some pedestal, and labelled or abused.

My BODY is the gateway!

Full stop!

 

Resolution.

So I returned to the idea to post this picture regardless.
And yes I edited it, but this time I edited it to emphasize the coulours and the spirit of the moment.
Flashy bold vibrant playful!

So beautiful souls, please take this into your heart: hold yourself tight today, squeeze yourself like a gorgeous newborn!
There’s always a way back to self – love!
Every single time!
No exceptions!
Wishing you bliss and ecstasy today!
I’m now about to jiggle my juicy legs to some more zouk beats!
Boom chick chick, Boom…

Are you waiting on your enlightened male?

(how to go from dried-up love skeleton to hot fire bomb)
I have had some very interesting conversations with women around intimacy and love lately.
Even though most of the times it is a fun and elevating topic, I noticed that for most, the idea of an enlightened soulmate is actually just another strategy to keep them from receiving love all the way.

Furthermore, I feel it is a very clear “NO, I don’t want my power, please take it and let someone who knows better love me and rescue me!”

 

hand holding

 

Yeah, there’s endless soulmate stories, twin flames, all kinds of DNA energetics and what not. Whether it is the special “someone” or the “one and only true flame”.  We’ve heard all that.

There’s that superneo concept of an elightened male that is on our level, who worships woman like goddess and understands, relates and validates all the hurt we’ve carried inside.
How much power do we give away and how many times to we check out of living with a bold heart, of being ourselves and be in the moment?
I was in a toxic relationship for 5 years.
Yes, I too was giving into this concept of “the one and only”.
At the bottom of it I was projecting more than loving. My focus was totally disorientated from my heart.
All I cared about was how much I could receive love and validation from this person.
And THAT is what the toxicity was all about!

 

At the bottom of it all I wasn’t asking for what I needed.
And all the times I did, I wasn’t receiving fully: not that he was a bad person ( I don’t think there’s any such thing).
We were just not on the same page when it came to our goals for the relationship, yet we both desired to be loved and validated in our own ways. And it truly didn’t help that I desired the “enlightened male” which turns out more like that green grass on the other side.
We were not truly filling each other’s cups.

 

So I relinquished in there for 5 years, tied to this concept I need to “stay and wait and fix myself” or “fix him” until we fit, because I had received some kinda external guidance that he was my soulmate.
How painful! Rather than just allowing myself to be in the moment and take a heartfelt decision that I wasn’t actually feeling it all the way. And to validate myself and my feelings, that it’s ok!

 

And so, every time I hear this pattern oozing out of someone’s talk about their partners, relationship issues or desiring this “external construct of a soulmate” I just want to give them a gentle nudge and say:
babe! wake up, gorgeous!!
The universe wants so much more for you!
There is always an invitation to dare bigger and bolder.
To take space in our own world.

 

open-heart

It’s so easy to let these ideas hi-jack our power, our sovereignty and our true desires!
And these concepts also get in the way to seeing the real men we are engaging with.
They too have their trauma, their hurts, their insecurities, the stuff that we all move through as we go through life.
And placing this enlightened BS expectation on them, just isn’t fair.

 

The moments I was able to hold myself in my own fears and my own darkness, were the most revealing!
Yes, I seeked help, I had to. I don’t believe huge shifts happen “just like that”, especially when we are moving through our weakness and blind spots.
We go through that phase where allowing another to hold space for us in a powerful way, is the most healing ever.
Yet, once the work is completed that’s it! There’s no going back.
Once you understand internally and energetically what it takes to move through the layers of growth and expansion you build so much intimacy with yourself.
There is that layer of compassion that kicks in and that deep deep love for yourself.

 

I believe that is the best place to be in truly, and in that space, it doesn’t really matter whether the partner you are with or desire is enlightened or not: you can see through their heart, you can communicate on their soullevel.

 

How flipping powerful is that, right?
You no longer “NEED” the other. They just become a true blessing all the way.
Showering you with their presence, their love and their willingness to meet you right there and then.
And you can see through your own layers of love, too.
You understand what it is that you really love about a man, how they honour you, how they respect you.
How you ask for the sexy connection you deeply desire, how you create this magic called intimacy.
INTO ME YOU SEE.
Hey, this is where I am. And hey, it’s soooo grogeous to meet you where you are.
And it’s so wonderful to be here sharing this moment with you.
to be able to hold your partner in his hurt and his fears, too.
To see through the unspoken and raise the confirmation.

 

I learnt a very powerful tool during a sexual healing retreat in Arizona during my travels and I have started to apply it to my life.
It’s called the “bubble”. You create a safe space and share about fears, desires and boundaries.
Both partners take turns.
I will ask people this question all the time, and what arises is really beautiful, you get to meet people in their vulnerability first, then their empowerment and then you see the ways they desire to feel respected in.
It’s amazing what true intimacy can bring, and I would never ever trade it again with some “enlightened blah blah blah”.
It’s so flakey.
And when the partner doesn’t respond with an open heart, I don’t shy away from lovingly sending them on their journey.
No hard feelings, just pure presence.
Clarity on your boundaries is GOLD!

 

I wish you much joy in your intimate explorations.
Every single lover that comes your way is a gift of the universe.
See all the way down, connect deeply.
Your soul soars so much this way!
Mucho aloha sensual from Manoa, Hawaii
22894484_10155717920536550_3959764211164974613_n
(in my Tropical Weather Halloween Costume) 🙂

Doing what you love and being paid for it really isn’t rocket science

(it may just require a couple of tweaks)

We all have dreams.
We all desire something specific.

Right?

I mean, even if you’re not sure, somehow you know there’s some things you prefer over others?!
So, why is that we don’t have what we really want yet?
What is the deal with ACTUALLY living the lifestyle we love?
Making enough income to fuel more of our passion?
Having the most fulfilling relationships?
Spending most of our time doing what turns us on?

 

  • SETTLING
rocks-in-shoe
We get used to commodities and comforts.
Even if they sting and hurt, we actually have amazing amounts of capacity to settle in the discomfort.
It’s kinda crazy really that we allow ourselves to remain in that space and get used to this sadomasochistic behaviour.
If there was a tiny rock in your shoe, it doesn’t hurt, yet you can feel it’s there:
would you keep walking?

 

You may keep walking for x-reasons…
laziness, it’s too small to make fuss sitting down and retrieving it, maybe you don’t want to delay your group, or maybe you just postpone it to later, or what about you’re so disconnected from your body you genuinely don’t even feel it’s there?
-whatever it is…

At some point that rock may actually annoy TF out of you.
You need to twist and toss your foot everytime you step…

It will distract you from fully being in the moment, enjoying the landscapes.
You can’t really move freely.
You get it, right?!
So what happens is: we can run around in life with tons of these rocks in our shoes.
And we don’t remove them.
We just relinquish in there.
So let’s look at your hurting rocks, right now.
Let’s scan them out:

 

How do they show up in your life right now?
Who is surrounding you that’s harming you?
What situations keep depleting your energy?
What behaviour have you adopted that is throwing you off board? or wasting your time?

 

  • STORIES

Short-stories-trail-012

 

We create all kinds of illusions and scenarios to justify why our desires are not attainable, worthy, deserving, possible even. Yes love, I’ve been there!

Our mind is fascinating, truly.
A hidden cavern of stories…

Some are conscious and most of them are actually active without our full & conscious consent.

We hear this over and over again, so I won’t develop too much here.
However, I’m going to leave some juice for you:

What if you could never ever fail?
What if you never were to lose love, appreciation or validation from anyone?
(including yourself)
What would you do?
What if you could never feel “bad” regardless of what you said?
How would you express yourself?
What truth would you speak?
What’s your new story?

 

  • REJECTION
no-way-arrow-sign-k-0260-l

wow this is a powerful one… we are sooooo afraid of rejection, it’s almost un-REAL.

Now, have you ever considered that rejection is your power?
Lemme put it this way: “saying no” is the best gift you can offer yourself, because it reveals the power of your YES!

The first time I ever had to truly face and speak a powerful NO was when I had an abortion nearly two years ago.

I had never truly harnessed that power until that day.
Trust me, I did not see it as a gift in that moment: I was fucking scared!!

With time distance I can see:
Not only was I saying NO to creating life in my womb; I was rejecting to be seen as a burden in my pregnancy (the most beautiful and powerful position I can imagine a woman to find herself).
I was saying NO to a life as a mother who was not supported.
I was rejecting to place a human being into this world without receiving the celebration and dedicated love from both parents.
It didn’t feel good.

 

And here’s what I found:
I found my voice and my true desires!
I felt what it is like to be a sovereign being and stand my ground for the things that truly move me, for love and for my truth.
I made space for myself.
I left the relationship that had been creating so much havoc in my whole being and I set myself free.
I allowed to be ignited by spirit, by love and by the fire that was brewing in me all along.
I allowed myself to go for my dreams all in: no more half-assing on anything.

 

This life is IT!

Ask for what you want.
Just say it.
Don’t make any excuses ever for a life that doesn’t feel 100% yes.
Don’t make anyone’s wellbeing more serious than your own.
It shines through when you walk your talk.
Your empowered actions speak for themselves.
What is 100% good for you will eventually be for everyone surrendounding you, also.
Because they will FEEL your truth.
They will KNOW you mean love.

 

What are you afraid to say no to?
Why?
Who is in the game with you?
Who are you trying to please / convince / justify yourself to?
What would love say, yes or no?
What would your best inner mother/ inner father say?

 

  • ALLOWING

Light-in-Heart
Living in the flow they say.
But what does it even mean?

 

I never really understood what this concept was until I started to be paid for what I loved doing.
Truly allowing the universe to shower me with financial abundance.
Whatever the amount!
The source of allowing is very much in the noticing that what you desired is coming your way, right now.

 

And then, the minute it happens! Gahhhh BLISS!!! 🙂
I believe in harmony and in doing things that feel 100% good.

 

I never pitched my page directly, I focus on creating heartfelt content (only when I feel fully guided to).
This is how I keep my integrity with myself.
I swore to myself I will never ever have to struggle or feel desperate about doing things.
So my blog posts, are all about creating this way. Trusting.
ALL THE WAY! Allowing…
The universe knocks on my door with a new idea, and all I need to do is hold space, write, create a video, share a picture with a short paragraph.
Boom! That’s it.

 

And then, when the cash comes clicking into my account I celebrate the craze out of it!
It feels SO GOOD!!! :)))

 

Only this week, I had my very first client who ASKED me to mentor them!
I never forced anything, all I did was show up.
Expressing myself fully.
Radiating the energy deep from my heart, fully connected to the universe and love and my highest vibration.

 

Miracles happen all the time.
Will we notice them?

 

These a merely a few insights on living my dreams.
It’s literally a summary of what I live by, 4 little nuggets of empowerment just for you.
It may be different from what you wanted yesterday… so what?

 

Sending you much aloha-love from Honolulu, Hawaii 💖

 

Are you dreaming… too small?

your world will flip upside down in a minute and click into place like a cracky hip-joint.
Get ready for the swirl!
So I’ve been super passionate about people’s dreams this week.
I’ve been asking friends, family and clients about what they would love to create in their lives.
The old self in me would have reacted with:
“aww that’s so nice! I’m happy for you!” (smile-pretty-face)
And trust me, it truly IS sweet & all that jazz when people tell me their intimate dreams, but here comes the bomb.
Oh wait!
Noooooo…. let’s make this fun!
(I like fun 😉 )
Let’s play with you too:
so, before you read on, just take a little moment to visualise your biggest dream!
Truly feel into it, or write it down on a piece of paper… and then return here….
Ok, you did it?
Yaaaaayyy….
You didn’t?
argh cm’on! you party popper lol….
no seriously now, this is real shizzle! DO IT! (thank me later)

NOW!

P5080194 - Essential Oils

Alright alright…. well-done back pats for the good boys and girls who did it. (wink!)
Sooooooooooooooo…..
here’s what I found:
most of you out there have cute dreams and projects you wanna do.
Yes! I said it: CUTE!
yeah…. they sound “lovely” “please your mumma” type, ya know “this is what your friends would love for you…” awwwwww
Your dreams actually won’t come true…. and I’ll tell you why!
Your dreams don’t f&%$ing SCARE the SHIZZLE out of you enough!
And because they don’t scare you enough, you relinquish, you settle, the steam will go out, you won’t ever make it.
That’s right!
Sorry, but not sorry!
This is actually the compelling part, you see:
Only when I dropped into the big-bum game was I even able to talk about the stuff I really want to talk about (just like this MF kick-ass article, tehehe).
Only when I understood the true calling behind my dreams (waaay bigger than me in my little world) was I able to align with the higher purpose of mini-me in the big-wide-world and how other people’s presence alongside with me would we create true long-lasting change in the world (I mean BIG LOVE earth style) !
And only then did I start taking committed action and FEEL what my soul really wanted for me all this time!
Allow myself to TALK to people, SHOW myself to people (yup, even massive emotional release in front of big groups, screaming, yelling and crying the whole out of me, drop that shame bit$$).
Only when I dropped my ego mind (yeah, ego can be a friend too, but most of the time it loves you being small and cute, because it can tear you like a starving beast whenever it pleases- enough you f$$$er).
Only when I felt the roars of my BIG BOLD DREAMS did I grow a real parent and mentor within to hold myself accountable (no more excuses, no more messing about).
Truth is, we KNOW what we truly desire!
We also KNOW what our fears are, and we keep hiding from them.
(Let’s not swirl too much anger out, or frustration, as that’ll get you back in the lock-down-no-creative-self rut- IN THE PAST!)
What a flipping DELUSION!
ONLY WHEN YOU ARE OK TO LOSE IT ALL, WILL THE DREAM START MOVING IN!
It truly happens this way.
But you see, you’ve gotta be ok feeling the discomfort first and feeling the edge of the sword and you’ve gotta drop the armour down that is trying to protect you from feeling the stuff you don’t want to feel (shame, guilt, anger, lack of this and that).
And it just takes the bigger bolder you to appear and be fully embodied.
Here I am in California, with 500£ in my bank account (my old self would be flipping shameful about saying it – IN THE PAST!), about to set off to Hawaii next week, and touring around the world (total inspired call to action!).
Some people would call me crazy, but I know that I will be totally fine!
(TRUTH baby!)
And you will probably PM me soon to ask HOW D’Y’DO THIS?
WHADDAYO SECRET?
And I’ll be smiling and say:
welcome to my world, baby!
It’s wild and gorgeous in here, wanna play?
Book some time with me!
hehe… nope not joking!
You just want to be there, in the free flow!
Yes you do, and your soul knows it, too!
That’s what souls do, they align align align…
And now it’s up to you to figure out: do you want to EXECUTE your dreams BIG-TIME or leave them there in the airy-fairy open….
are you going to waste your dreams or MAKE YOUR DREAMS?

lisy sunset - santa monica 2017

(Santa Monica Beach, L.A. – California USA 2017)

Please, pick ME!

your “poor me”-attitude is hijacking your audition… and your career!Rejected-Stamp-PNG

There we are… finally!

2hours later, waiting in the cold for ages, quickly dumping a take-away snack into your tummy because you didn’t want to be last in the queue, can’t be late or this’ll take the whole day

You can feel the other dancer’s nerves tightening your throat.
Their cold disconnected eyes. Shallow breaths and falsely boasted up postures.
Everyone’s a little anxious right here.

 

A gazillion thoughts course through the mind:
make-up issues, how long till the call?, guess I put on weight, argh rent is coming up next week, oh she looks so much fitter than me, shit his leg lines are so perfect, gotta focus, stretch the neck, did I bring water?, I wonder what babe’s doing right now, (phone blinks up “good luck duckling!”) ah mum’s so sweet, she remembered! argh what the f%&$ am I doing here, they’re all so much taller than me, I’ll never get it.

 

And just like a church bell echoing into an empty village, there comes the number, the call!

 

The heart races and the legs weaken a little.
Adrenaline kicking in, NOW’s the time!
Let’s go!

 

I wish they would just pick me!
I haven’t had a yes in months!
I wish I could just “make it” this time round!
PLEASE!

 

——————–
Been there?
Yeah… me to!

 

Never did I think that my feelings and my mindset had anything to do with how I was sabotaging my success and how I was putting my artistic self  so free-willingly into the guillotine frame: so cruel but true!
Please, chop it off!

 

You see, desperation is what lead me astray from all my dreams.
Little did I know I kept running for the wrong goal.
I turned into a victim of fate, whatever the judgement of the audition judge or teacher or dance mate, was the truth, like religion.
Rejection after rejection my brain started to figure I just wasn’t “IT” and I gave up altogether.

 

When I began dancing as a young girl, I would dance for the joy of dancing, because I loved making new friends.
I would feel loved. I would feel excited to learn new steps and put up a performance, wear costumes.
I didn’t really question my technique, or my body, or whether I would be at the front or the back of the stage, not even did I worry I would not be taken at all. It also didn’t really matter if I was just in our living room.
This expression was free. I just wanted to feel the warmth of the spotlights on my skin and dance my soul out.

 

Somewhere in-between however, all these “professional dance life details” became important and robbed me from my creative self:
what changed?

 

Well the vibration changed.
There is a very strong link between outer and inner motifs.
What fuelled me initially came from within: joy, celebration, curiosity, wilderness, freedom.
What fuelled me after was external: technical ability, being better than, paying my bills, being accepted, wanting approval, prove my worth, needing to convince, doing it for the money, wanting to please, etc

 

This seems somewhat unrelated, but just hold on for a bit before you ditch this, as I promise it will get juicy!

 

I was speaking to a few dating experts this week and they were saying how a lot of women and men stop dating because they get rejected over and over.
They “have tried it all”, and yet they still keep getting “no”, “not my type”, “we can be friends though”, or just empty fields with a croaky-voiced cricket.

 

As I asked them what exactly it is they change in people, so that they can “get laid” or “get into a meaningful relationship”; their answer was simple:
-We get the client back in-tune with their intuition!
Oh, how so?

-We train them to create clear boundaries between what they desire and accept only this, and in a parallel unwaveringly dump what does not fit their call.

Then, we dress up a list of potential dating partners and let their intuition fire up on WHICH ONES to date.

Most of the time their soul already knows “who is a great potential”, but the human small mindedness tells them all sorts of excuses: they can’t have them, they’re too this or too that; which leads them to not dating at all, or date the ones they “think they can have”, as opposed to the ones they truly desire.
So we re-calibrate their true desires with true boss-babe-style inspired action (ask for what they want, create time for pleasure and feeling good, speak their truth in everyday life, etc)!
They naturally build confidence and, of course…. there comes the calendar with booked date nights and the next relationship shortly after.

 

There and then it CLICKED!! YES! This made sense.
I’ve seen this in many other areas too, and the link with audition rejections and dancers like a wrong-gone dating profile is so obvious!

 

We dancers do exactly the same thing.
We self-sabotage our love relationship with our art, because we feel we can’t have what we truly desire.

 

How many times, did I go to an audition, because I was desperate for money, or desperate to be “taken”?
How many show opportunities did I dump because “I needed to be a good girl and show up at work instead”?
How many times did I not show up to auditions in weeks because I was still “bleeding from last time’s rejection” and “busy beating myself up”?
How many dance jobs did I turn down because I was afraid “I’m not good enough, qualified enough, blah blah blah enough”?

 

Even though these genuinely felt exciting, felt bolt, felt true to my soul’s desires.

 

I have turned around my true dream “hotpot” for ages, found all sorts of excuses and actually never ended up “making it”.
Always playing small in my field, not daring or training in ways that empowered me.

 

Interestingly enough, I was having a parallel relationship in real life that was fuelling all these victim thoughts too.
I was subconsciously giving my power away in my intimacy with my partner at the time: hoping he would make me happy, hoping he’d just love me, witholding my real thoughts and my real fears for the fear of being rejected.
This is actually a topic for a different blog entry, but can you feel the links here?

“Making it” is such a human thing that keeps us locked into our small world.
Truly we are made for so much bolder and bigger dreams.
The universe already knows we can have our desires, but sometimes they just don’t come around the ways we hope they will.
And then, we shut down slowly. We resign. We don’t get the results and so let go of the big call altogether.
We consent to fate’s will and hope that someone will come to save us from our lacks.
And then we show up at an audition with this small minded, victim mode, desperate-icky face… please, will you?

 

Truth is: it doesn’t have to be this way for the rest of your life.
Are you willing to drop this?

 

I’d like you to go away with something to chew on, as that’s just my passion for mentoring speaking through here!
Ready?
Ok, grab a journal and let’s get super clear, then:

 

What is it that you truly desire when you perform?
If there was no rejection possible, ever, what would you do?
If you didn’t need any money, or financial support, how would you express yourself?
If you were your own best mum/dad, what advice would you give yourself right now?
do you want to go to auditions? what would your inner parent say to you during auditions?
What do you want to create?
What change do you want to fuel in your life, in the industry, in the world?

 

I found the best advice ever given to me, was to see myself as a big drop in the ocean and to see that my drop was in direct repercussion with all the other drops here in this life.
To give my services & acts over to the higher aspect in me and allow her to stir the directions.

 

That’s when the rejection at an audition was simply a way for me to understand and give more love for myself.
How the reason I am here is in direct interlink with ALL the happenings in the industry as well as the world.
That’s also when my joy for dance catapulted right back into my life and I found that mentoring and empowering others is what mostly moves my heart. I know that every single person on this planet has a soul calling, and it comes in multiple ways of expression. The reason you were canoed into the dancer flow also has a meaning!

 

I began to notice that auditions were not my pathway alone, and that the outcome truly didn’t define my worth at all.
They are simply a means to an end, but there are TONS and tons of pathways possible.
I stopped giving my power away to the external and started to move from the internal.
I also cast out situations and people that didn’t feel in alignment.
I started to invest in myself and allow myself to receive pleasure and love on all levels (physical, emotional, sexual, energetic, etc.).

 

Now I’m travelling the world and I dance in beautiful locations when I feel called to.
I will perform when it feels good to do so. I started singing, painting and writing along the way.
I will collaborate when my soul feels it desires to stretch itself in this manner.
After all, why not?

 

I allow myself to do all that feels f%&$ing amazing because I deserve to be treated like a queen, especially by myself.

 

Yes auditions, are still on the radar, and if I go in, it is a full-heart beautiful experience, I tune into the people there, their work, their human nature, into the joy of receiving, sharing and giving.

 

When my inner child feels loved and supported by the best parent or mentor in my heart, she doesn’t need to be scared anymore.
I can provide for her, no matter what!

 

My joy is a gift. It is not for sale.

 

Elisabete Antunes

Why performers should splash their hard earned cash into a mentor rather than the next photoshoot

Warning: This article may pivot your fouetté back around and you may feel angry or highly triggered.
Just brace yourself and dive if you dare!

8 Catwalk Diva
———————

Most highly successful athletes have one.
Every star swears by their life coach and how they can keep the grounds during rough times and keep track with directions.
It’s completely liberating receiving support.

In the entrepreneurial world, this is a norm already.
You can hardly spark amazing success without having someone to turn to when riding the highs and lows of the journey. Someone to keep you accountable and thriving when your emotional and spiritual growth feels rough.

Why is it that dancers and performers don’t have this yet?
Facing hardships alone, really isn’t easy.
I found they often they feel overwhelmed or lose focus: robotic running from audition to teaching position, invest all their money into photoshoots, rent, costumes and classes. And still end up with low scratching bank accounts.

I lived in London for nearly 8 years as a dance teacher, and some of my personal friends would often complain about the low points and desperation during their careers.
Being paid peanuts for high impact energy work, hours on end on sets or sniffy studios.
Doing acting jobs rather than dreamjobs, because the bills needed to be paid.
Accepting collaborations trading their talent over so-called exposure rather than straight £££.
And these were talented artists, working hard and “doing the right thing”.

Many a time did I converse with recently graduated musical college students and so-called expert performers alike and here’s what I noticed:
they still were trying to fit the “ideal” that was completely focused externally ( sub-consciously pleasing past teachers’ or other dance friends’ dreams rather than their own, trying to prove anyone wrong or how they could “make it anyway”, following the pre-cut-cookie-shape rather than their soul calling).
Do auditions until you drop.
Run the hunger marathon daily and end up as a number in the discarded crowd over and over.

I mean, the list is endless.

If you’re already getting the jobs and feel through and through amazing about your success, you may remember a time when you didn’t and it is important to acknowledge what exactly you changed to adapt to this hurdle.

If you don’t, you will get your intuition re-activated. Hold your tights!

The point is:
why is it that dancers don’t receive proper mentoring during their studies and overall support there after?
Why is this not a priority?

You are a human being with emotions and lessons before being a performer.

And I’m sorry to say, not even the best-meaning teachers will have time to invest in your emotional growth, as they are probably doing the same crazy run as everyone else in the industry.

Just scratching the surface of studies around how thoughts and emotions trigger actions and results should be enough to shake our booties in the right direction.

Possibly, our industry is still one of the lowest paid in the entertainment world maybe not because we are worthless and not deserving to be paid more (no, the excuse there’s no money for all is not valid, sorry!), but because we keep accepting this messed up treatment aka our boundaries are weak AF.

And maybe the reason why you wanted to dance or perform in the first place is out of alignment now: your integrity as a human being with a birthright to freedom and expansion, deserving to be valued and celebrated all the way is just not happening, because you’re not demanding it.
And that this is what is actually depleting your dancer’s heart!
The fact that the industry is ruthless and there’s not enough jobs to go around is just not enough to keep you running on the hamster wheel.

Maybe that toxic friendship or relationship is draining you and actually affecting you and your success so much more than you imagine.

Perhaps your injuries are a sign that you are subliminally sabotaging yourself and your career, because you’re actually afraid of being powerful.

Am I ruffling some feathers!?

I hope so!
And you may not agree or feel triggered or angry, which is fine, but just allow yourself to play with this idea.
You can always drop it after if it’s not your truth. I know you’re ready to have your mind challenged.

Dancers have brains that are highly sensitive and intuitive. We’re wired to constantly scan our external world (perform for an audience, project to be seen, adjust their technique in the mirror for hours on end, even when they’re resting their brains are still dancing). Truly a dancer’s mind is trained very differently to any other human: monitoring body, sound, feelings, projections, constantly scanning their inner and their external world 24/7,

Just stop for a second and chew on this.

Did you ever notice this?

Now let’s get back on track to our title:

what if you are simply to create a new paradigm with dance and your art?
what if the reason to dance is actually the ultimate connection to your divine essence and you simply forgot?
what if you could never fail?
what if if nobody would criticise you or reject you in any way?

what would you do?
do differently?

leaving this BLANK for you to stop and let the answer come to you.

Well….
THAT my dear is what you should actually be doing.

Stop wasting money on your next random training class or photo portfolio because everyone else is running that way.
Maybe you were born for wilder and bolder things?
Or maybe you desire to show up to yourself and the next generations of dancers to come, to step into your footprints, because nobody else dared to question this type of success-orientation (which may work for 1%) and you are among those to create their own revolution.

Maybe you want to create a platform and put dance on a pedestal where it has never been before? use the artform in completely reinvented ways?

I can assure you, so many others ACTUALLY want the same as you.

You’re never really alone with a desire, because the universe trusts you and many others with the same idea.
Your dream or idea was never actually yours, The universe just comes knocking at your door with it and it’s up to you to take it or leave it.

I know I’m speaking straight into your soul, and if you’re ready to have your feathers shimmied, you just KNOW that that’s what truly moves you. This was the actual reason why you were born a dancer, no mistakes ever.

It never really was about the money or the next paying job.
It actually is all about what you came here to shift in yourself and in the society we live in.

It never was even about being the next star’s backing dancer.
Maybe you’ve come here to reclaim the power dance has had for millions of years and we forgot:
To channel the divine into the body.
To create a blasting ecstatic revelation in your consciousness.
To create mass connection.

So…
when are you going to be bold and invest in yourself, believe in yourself and the this huge big “WHY?” you are here?
Have the right questions asked to you, so you drop the run for cover.
Get naked and dance like you were always meant to?
Drop the shame, second-guessing, doubt and fear and let your wisdom speak up louder.
Create space for those things that REALLY move you. And the world.

No teacher will ever give you this, because you are to find it within.

And that’s what mentors do: they ask the right questions to ruffle your feathers and flake off your fake masks and habits.
Not for them.
For you.

They have the ability to shift this, because they don’t care about the outcome, truly.

Work with someone who scares you a little.
Take that leap out of fear you’ll never be enough.
Trust is an internal motor:
the more you show up in the aligned path,
face your dark lions head on and drop the cage bars,
the more you realise how easy things come to you… and that’s where the magic happens.

Ease comes AFTER the dark.
After you’ve felt your fears through and through and let them dissolve in the process.
Acknowledge the beast, honour it, tame it and DANCE with it.

Trust will move right into your front door…
and so will the cash.

Elisabete Antunes